when its late i get delirious and ramble. so yeah.





i think i would say im a happy person. im very negative and pessimistic, but that doesnt mean im unhappy. i absolutely love pretty much all holidays, my favorite is definitely christmas. i love halloween and valentines day also. i recently had the best valentines of my life. im head over heels in love. he's all i think about and now that i know im going to spend the rest of my life with him i cant wait for it to start. i really do not like the era i live in, at all. i would love to live in either the 40s, 70s, or 80s. rainy days put me in a good mood, i try to avoid going outside when its sunny. im oblivious to politics, and i think they're ridiculous. it bothers me when religion gets thrown into them though. the genres of music i listen to are: pop, rock, r&b, soul, funk, country, jazz, big band, oldies, motown, classical, indie, can't think of anything else right now. the only thing i absolutely will not listen to is screamo or heavy metal. it is absolute shit and screaming at the top of your lungs definitely does not qualify as music. i do like older rap, i don't like most of the rap music today, it makes me feel uncomfortable. i kinda play up a ditzy thing, but i know when its irritating so i dont go that far. i hate people who label themselves as "a dumb blonde", you're an idiot. i really do not like having conflicts with people, it does bother me. im generally not confrontational. i am a libra therefore im a peacemaker. almost everything my sign says about me is true. i probably would be completely content with only having a couple friends. im really really an awkward person, i feel miserable when people i havent seen in over 6 months want to hang out. that is such an awkward situation for me to be in, i hate it. i hate turning red, people think its funny when it happens but honestly i would kill to make it stop. i dont think im ugly, i do think im fat. not obese, fat. listening to michael buble, frank sinatra, only certain types of jazz makes me want to be in new york. last year i could have moved to new york in a tiny but clean apartment and have been totally content. now, i would basically live anywhere as long as im with him. oh michael jackson. he was and always will be my favorite artist. no matter what. he was probably one of the sweetest people to have ever lived and i am serious. he was giving, and he was so fucking caring. it makes me cry to think of the way people treated him. i love him so much and i feel like i knew him. he is for sure in a wonderful place right now. im a christian and i believe in god. i have my own relationship with god and it bothers me when people think they know more than me or think im 'bad' because i barely go to church. i do not think he's lenient, i just know he's not ignorant. a few things i believe you would not be condemned to hell for: being gay, premarital sex, believing in a different form of him, abortions. just aaaaaaaaa few. my familys from the south, but i wanna be a southern belle dangit. my boyfriend and i already have a rough draft of what day and what we're doing for our wedding. we have our kids names picked out. ummm as you can tell we're serious about eachother. we said i love you to each other after like 4 days. (he said it first by the way). i usually hate when people do that, but i realized only because it takes all meaning out of it. we knew we loved each other so i don't feel like such a dummie anymore. im a crybaby and im extremely sensitive. i sort of have a tough exterior because ive seen people get walked all over and i am not that stupid. my family is.......idk. they are totally cool except with my boyfriend. too strict on that shit. and my dad goes overboard with groundings sometimes. but they never last. but gosh i cannot wait until im 18 holy crapolie. seeing happy couples makes me so excited now that i have someone. i love talking to people about their boyfriends/girlfriends because i think its the sweetest thing ever. giving advice is easy for me, there are few people's advice i actually listen to. i can honestly say i have absolutely zero interest in drugs, smoking, getting drunk, or even hookah. i don't understand why people would want to in the first place. im sure ill drink, most likely never get blackout drunk, probly drunk though. i can bet my life ill never try a cigarette or any type of drugs. ive kissed 3 people in my life. my first and second kisses were when i was fifteen, at gothia club in sweden. they were actually big makeouts but shh. the first boys name was david and he lived in colorado. the second guy was a different night but he looked like 18 or 19 and i dont think he spoke english. but he was cute. to get me to go over to him he pretended like he was fishing and that is the gayest thing ever but funny to me. the next boy i ever kissed was cody joseph clarke whooooo is the love of my life :) i have never had my heart broken and as long as im with him i never will. outdoors is really pretty, but ive lately realized how much i dislike actually being outdoors. i dont mean just outside, being at the beach or in the mountains. i dont like being sweaty, dirty, bugs near me, no reception, sand, salt water, idk it sounds bad but just ew. i love going to the grocery store late at night with my mom. i love when my dad laughs at my jokes. i could be smart. if i used my potential i could be a straight a student. but i waste it. i would rather be on the phone or watch tv or go do something. oh well. i will kick your ass if you use your/you're incorrectly. i love falling asleep with cody. i love when he wakes me up by kissing me. its the most amazing way to wake up and i get excited just thinking about it. i love when he rubs my back for me and i put up with giving his arms the little tickles that he loves. i love taking care of him, baking for him, fussing with his hair, wiping crumbs off him(cause he's cute and chubby and messy(: ), fixing his clothes, cleaning his room, taking care of his booboos, forcing him to wear lotion when he has dry elbows. i love taking care of him even when he tries to make me relax. no matter how much i try to improve it, everyones first impression of me is shy. i hate it but as soon as they know me they are like wow wrong adjective. i am the opposite of a feminist, they would hate me for saying this but i wish things were the way they were in the fifties. the man goes to work and the woman cleans and cooks and takes care of the kids. sorry but i would love that lifestyle. ive never been to a funeral and im not sure if ill ever go to one. i dont like the fact that it may look disrespectful, honestly thats not what i mean by it. i simply like remembering people the last time i saw them, happy and full of life, and really i think they would prefer me to have that memory. i think everyone's born good at heart since they were made in an image of god, its the decisions they make that determines if they're 'good' or 'bad'. i love learning about history. im extremely stubborn and when im bored i pick fights. i think love at first sight is completely ridiculous. you can't love someone without knowing their faults. i love feeling girly. i dont like math. with chem i have no idea how i passed because i payed attention to about 6 lessons total. going to michael's craft store makes me so happy during halloween. i love wearing all of his clothes as pajamas. in fact im wearing his jacket right now:) im ticklish if you poke my ribcage by the side of my boobs. i want to be a teacher because i love kids. but my main goals are to be a wife and a mother. i hate when people have bad breath and they yawn without covering their mouth. i could puke when that happens. chew some gum for christs sake. love songs are amazing and i love listening for lyrics that relate to my relationship. i fell in love fast but i cant believe how lucky i am to have met the person thats meant for me so early in my life. some people never find THAT person. and i think its horrible, every person should be able to fall in love. i think my boyfriend is completely perfect.